More Ads for SHOES!!!

Here are some more ads for my new album SHOES!

I wanted to ad them here before I put them up on all my social medias.


Be patient, dear readers, I will be done spamming about SHOES soon.

SOON...

Day 248 - An Open Letter to Mattel! - 9/6/2015

Okay, Mattel. You've been fooling around long enough.

You only have until October 21 to make Hoverboards real.

That isn't much time.

I shouldn't even give you that much time. In Back to the Future 2 hoverboards have been a thing for a while. Long enough that little girls in the middle of downtown Hill Valley have them and don't mind too much when they get taken away (as long as they get a Pit Bull) (speaking of which, where the crap are our Pit Bull hoverboards?!).

Oh, and this stuff isn't cutting it.



And Lexus is kinda beating you to it. Only kinda. Theirs only works on certain ramps so far.


So get on it! Please?

And Pepsi, I'd sure like one of those Pepsi Perfects, too.

Hoverboards, Pepsi Perfect, and Nike Power Lace Shoes!

Hey, remember back in December when I wrote a WISHLIST FOR IMAGINARY THINGS?

Well, in that list I mentioned 3 items from Back to the Future part 2 that I would like defictionalized so I could buy them and make them a part of my life and daily routines. And 2015 is just around the corner so I used all my connections to find out.

I wrote an e-mail each to Mattel's, Pepsi's, and Nike's customer service internet thing to see if this was a possibility.

Each e-mail was basically the same format for each company. "2015 is just around the corner... people want Back to the Future stuff... will __________ be available?"

Each company responded! Here are there responses:

1.

Instead of reposting pictures stolen from google I decided to make quick, poorly-made MS Paint pictures of each item from BTTF2 I hope to see defictionalized.

First (and most importantly) I contacted Mattel. They answered:

This was the nicest/least formal response I got.

The gist: they dunno, but it would be pretty cool!


2.

Next (and next-most important) was Pepsi. They answered:

This was more formal with the usual "we will pass your suggestions along, thank you for the feedback... etc" kind of thing.

The gist: they dunno.

3.

Finally (the final important one) I contacted Nike about the Power Lace shoes. The answered:

 

Let me quote a part of this for emphasis (since I know you read each of these responses thoroughly).

" It has been rumored that Nike is said to have a paten for power laces, but we do not have any information as to if there is truth behind this."

The gist: There's a rumor that Nike has power laces, but they dunno!

Great! That's a bit of hope, right? There's a rumor! Nike's customer service admits that theres a rumor! That counts for something, right?!

I'll never get my hoverboard. :(

A Wishlist for Imaginary Things

Last week I wrote about my Ponder Couch Christmas List. Those are all things that you can/could buy. This list is a wishlist for things that do not actually exist (outside of movies/tv shows). Here are some products I want Defictionalized so I can review them. Let's get to it.

1. Cuke

Cuke Cola from the "Friend Face" episode of the IT Crowd.

I would love to have a can of Cuke to review. I would crack it open, take a sip, and say

2. Duff Beer

I have written about Duff Beer before.

I know that there are lots of versions of Duff Beer that are unofficial (I want to try them ALL but NONE of them are available in my area), and there is even real Duff Beer available in Universal Studios Florida, but I would like it to be widely available. I would love to be able to drive over to Marsh and pick up a sixpack of Duff to take home and drink while I watch DVDs of the Simpsons.

Sigh...

3. Melonade and Fluffy Puff Marshmallows

I love Homestar Runner. I wish they were still making new Homestar Runner and Strongbad cartoons. I also wish I could buy these products and pretend that I could go to Free Country, USA.

4. Anything from Back to the Future 2

I want Power Lace Nikes (real ones that actually powerlace), Pepsi Perfect, and Hoverboards.

I would settle for one pink Mattel Hoverboard that actually hovered.

5. Stuff made by ACME and Krebstar

Yes. I know there are lots of manufacturers named Acme, but I want the kinds of things Wylie Coyote bought.

I just wish they were out there, making fantasy more real.


That's it for this list! I might make another one some other time when I think of more products I'd like defictionalized, but for now...

Can somebody please buy me a real Duff Beer....

or pay for my trip to Universal Studios?

Please...?

Some videos of songs I wrote...

A cover of that one song from that one scene in Back to the Future!

A song from my Ponder and Enlightening comic sung by the Claudius puppet!

A new original song about lover or something.

And finally

A song about the Pitch Drop Experiment!