Here's another moment of voluntary clutter in my life! This is the back of my name tag from work. I put a variety of stickers on it because I love clutter and I knew that it would interest the toddlers I look after. They love to point out different stickers and either ask about them or name them.
Let's go through them, shall we?
1. Orange background, white star - I like stars. This fit on the name tag.
2. Purple and green heart - See #1, replace "stars" with "hearts".
3. Skeleton - I love all things Halloween. This reminds me of Halloween year-round.
4. "You Rock!" - you do!
5. Atom - It reminds me of science, "The Big Bang Theory" which I like even though so many people I admire hate it, and the Springfield Isotopes.
6. Umbrella - I love rain and how umbrellas look. I do not like using umbrellas when it rains, though.
7. Banana stickers - I love bananas, I love stickers. And the back of my name tag is where the twain meets.
8. Grover - my favorite Sesame Street Muppet (as I mentioned in yesterday's post). All of the kids think he's Elmo. Kids are dumb.
That's it!
This article is kind of short, so I'm going to include a short play I wrote in college. It's about Clutter. It's called:
Clutter
SCENE
1
(Scene
opens to a room cluttered with toys and a
recliner
center stage. Ron is sitting in the
middle of the
mess,
playing with the toys. His mom walks in
and sees
him.)
MOM
Oh, Ronnie, honestly!
(She
starts picking up the toys and continues throughout the rest of
the
conversation.)
I don't know how you can stand being
surrounded by such a mess. If my mother
saw you in such a state she would spank your little bottom. When I was your age and I made even the
slightest mess, I would get a spanking.
But I am much nicer than my mother.
(Pause.)
I honestly do not understand how you can
live in such a messy environment. You
need to learn to be more cleanly. You
need to learn to pick up after yourself.
I won't always be around to clean up after you.
(Pause.)
But I suppose you're still young. I'll teach you to be clean. How's about that? Huh?
(Pause. No response.)
Yes, you will be quite the organized and
cleanly young man.
(She
finishes picking up his toys, ruffles his hair then, seeing how
messy
she made it, smoothes it back down. She
stands back up.)
Now, to clean the rest of the house. Remember, Ronnie, dust never totally goes
away. It just floats around a while,
waiting to resettle.
(She
exits. Ron starts spreading teenage
stuff like magazines,
clothes,
books, CDs, etc. around the room. When
he's finished he
sits
in his recliner. His mom comes back in,
looking a bit older.
She
looks around the room with disgust.)
MOM
Ronald!
Do I have to tell you again that this room needs cleaning?!
(Ron
ignores her, continuing to watch TV.)
I will never understand how you can live
in a room like this. It's a pig
sty! Look at it! Would you look at this mess?
(Pause. No response.)
Ronald!
I am talking to you!
RON
What?
MOM
Look at how messy your room is!
(Ron
looks around.)
RON
Yeah... so?
MOM
We can't stand for such a mess, can we?
RON
I can.
MOM
No, Ronald. No you can't.
When an individual has a cluttered room that tells the world that he
also has a cluttered mind. Do you want
that?
(Ron
shrugs.)
Of course you do not want that! You want to present your best self to the
world. Show the world your best possible
features. How do you ever expect to get
ahead in the world with such a cluttered room?
You need to keep your room nice and clean.
RON
So you're telling me that I should show
the world that I have an empty room and an empty mind?
MOM
Watch that smart mouth, mister. Nobody likes a smart ass. That will lose you a job just as quickly as a
messy office. No, you want a clean,
organized room to show your boss and the rest of the world that you have a
clean and organized mind.
(Pause.)
Well?
RON
Well, what?
MOM
Are you going to clean your room?
RON
Oh, no.
MOM
Ronald!
Clean your room!
RON
Mom, I like it like this. I'm not going to clean it.
MOM
Well, if you're not going to clean it, I
will.
(She
begins picking up his stuff.)
RON
Mom, no!
I hate it when you pick my stuff up.
Then I have no idea where it is.
I like to have it out in the open where I can see it. That way I know where everything is.
MOM
I can not believe that you can find
anything in this mess.
RON
Mom, I know where everything is this
way. When you clean my room I can't find
anything when I need it. Besides, this
is my room. I should be able to keep it
how I like it. I'm a teenager, my room
is supposed to be messy.
MOM
A lazy teenager's room is a mess, but you,
Ronald, are not a lazy teenager. I will
not tolerate a lazy teenager. Do you see
your father or me messing up our rooms?
RON
I keep my stuff out of the rest of the
house, I keep the rest of the house as clean as you and Dad do. Why can't I keep my room like I like it?
MOM
Because we are not messy people.
(She
finishes picking stuff up.)
There, see, that wasn't so hard. Ronald, I won't always be there to clean up
after you and I'm sure your boss and wife won't clean up after you. That is, if you can ever get a job or keep a
girlfriend. I'm sure that after any girl
sees how messy you'll keep your apartment, she'll run screaming in the other
direction. You need to learn to pick up
after yourself.
(She
exits. Ron spreads his adult stuff all
over the room and sits in
his
recliner. Denise enters, sees the mess,
and takes a deep breath.)
DENISE
Ron, honey, could you please pick up after
yourself?
RON
Sorry, hon, I like my house like
this. My motto is "a place for
everything and everything all over the place."
DENISE
That's cute hon, but I would really
appreciate it if you picked your stuff up once in a while.
RON
Sorry, I didn't think the mess bothered
you. It never seemed to bother you
before.
DENISE
Well it did. I never said anything because I didn't want
to be all judgmental and make you mad.
RON
No I understand. Some people are clean freaks.
DENISE
Ronald, I'm not a clean freak. I just don't like to live in a pig sty.
RON
Jesus, you sound like my mom.
DENISE
Then she was right too. She warned me before we got married that you
were messy. I promised her that I
wouldn't stand for it either. Ron, you
may like it like this, but I hate living in a messy house. Could you please pick this stuff up.
RON
All right, but I won't be able to find
anything, and I'll constantly be asking you where things are.
DENISE
That's fine, just as long as this mess
gets picked up.
RON
Okay...
(He
helps Denise begin picking things up.)
I wish you'd said something earlier. I'm so stuck in my ways that I don't know if
I'll be able to change.
DENISE
Oh honey, of course you can change. You just need to make an attempt.
RON
I suppose you're right.
(They
clean in silence until they finish.)
There.
DENISE
Thank you.
I love you so much.
(She
kisses him.)
And now that the house is clean
(Seductively.)
I'll be up in bed, waiting...
RON
Ooo, I'll be up shortly.
DENISE
(Seductively.)
Don't take too long.
RON
I won't.
(Denise
exits. Ron spreads old guy things,
clothes, photo albums,
etc.
around the room Stacey enters, sees the
mess, and glares at
Ron.)
STACEY
Dad, you need to pick your stuff up.
(Pause. No response.
She begins picking his stuff up.)
Come on, Dad, when I talk to you you need
to talk back. The doctors say that it
doesn't help the depression to sit in the middle of a mess like this and feel
sorry for yourself.
(Pause. No response.)
Dad, Mom is dead. She's not here any more to pick up after
you. And David and I do not have the
time to clean up after you. You are
fully capable of cleaning up after yourself.
I know you've lived in messy houses all your life, but this isn't your
house. This is our house. We're willing to let you live with us as long
as you pick up after yourself.
(Pause. No response.)
Dad, I love you very much. I love having you here, but if you aren't
going to be able to take care of yourself... we may have to put you in a
nursing home.
(Pause. No response.)
Dad?
(Pause. No response.)
We'll talk more about this when David gets
home.
(She
finishes picking his stuff up.)
Okay.
Supper's in a half hour. I'll see
you then.
(She
begins to exit, but stops.)
I love you, Dad.
(She
exits. Pause. Ron starts spreading his old guy stuff around
the
room again. Blackout.)
END
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